You what???

So I’m hanging out the washing and my husband comes out to see me.
We start chatting and I ask him. Me: Do you think you would come to my bariatric appointment with me? Him: When is it?
Me: Next Monday- although I doubt I will of lost the amount they want me to by then?
Him: How much do you need to lose?
Me: well I need to be 21st for their goal. I’ve got about 10lb to lose. I’m not sure I can do it.
Him: is there any point in going then?
Me: of course there’s point in going.
Him: so you definitely want this done.
Me: I don’t see any other way.
Him: strict diet and exercise routine. You have to work out your relationship with food even if you do have it done.
Me: you are going out in 10 minutes and this isn’t a 10 minute conversation.
So what do I do??? What I don’t do it stuff my face (congratulations girl!), what I do is lock myself in the bathroom. Only room with a lock and think.
Oh I’m getting mad at this point.
Okay so I’ve had a weight problem since I was 12, I’m now 35 that makes it an issue that’s 23 years old. I’m sick of it. Sick to the core. It’s self inflicted a lot of it. Too much in, not enough burnt off.
I feel like bariatric surgery is the ONLY way to go, it’s a lifeline. A chance to start over, to retrain myself!
Don’t get me wrong I attend a ‘diet’ club. A very well known one. But come on 23 years old the problem!!!!!!!
Don’t get me wrong my husband loves him very very much, he’s just not sure this is the way for me. It’s my fight, I can’t tell you how tired I am of being big. Not being able to run, play outside games with my children, walk up ‘that’ mountain with my husband.
So the count down is on. Today I weighed in at 21st 10.5lb. Ideally the bariatric surgeons want me at 21st in 7 days. I’m optimistic but aware it’s a tough journey.
I’d love to get down to this weight as I can then go down the next route of the journey.
Please don’t judge me. It’s not your life. It’s my life, one a want back. One I want to start a fresh. One I do not want to have with emotional binge eating in or being the size I am.

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