24 days

So there are 24 days until my appointment with the bariatric surgery team. 24 signiciant days. 24 days of value. 24 days of choice. 24 days with the challenge of 11 lb.
At slimming world last night, I weighed in at 21st 11 lb this morning I was 21st 9 1/4lb.
So I want to and require to be 21st by 24th November. Here’s hoping, wishing, praying and tryiny so very hard.
I’ve spent 24 years being overweight, moving steadyly along to where I am now. Morbidly obese. Yes a at risk of dying fat person. I know that sounds unkind and drastic but it’s the truth.
Sometimes the truth is painful and yes this truth is painful for me but I simply can not ignore it. This consumes me, this is who I am right now. I don’t want to be that person but not because I am unhappy because its about my future.
I want to be able to be active with my children. I want to be active with my husband – there is still that mountain we ARE going to climb together.
I do have days when I’m upset and I can’t see past the fat person. These days are generally influenced by an event. An event such as “wow my jeans are soooo tight”. Or I bump into tables, chairs or beds because I don’t actually realise how big I am.
I don’t know what I’d do without my faith. Jesus loves me for who I am. Unconditionally. No matter what. Man that is such an encouragement and I relief.
So each step I take, each journey I make, each choice I take. I want it to be the right one, the wholesome one.

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