Got through

This morning I said I could feel it in my bones that I would struggle today and I did. I’m immensely proud of myself. Yes I did have cocoa pops (10 syns) and a small chocolate cake slice (5 syns) but it was it my syn range.

Tonight I struggled again, so I had some watermelon. I say some but actually I had half a watermelon. Crazy! It didn’t feel like a binge  it didn’t envoke the feelings and thoughts I used to get with a binge. But it was half a watermelon.

Its odd previously I would of called those cocoa pops and cake naughty food and although I know it’s in my syn range, I’d rather not of had the cake. It wasn’t all that nice. The cocoa pops were lovely.

I can’t believe I’ve done away with the good food/ bad food idea. It’s not something I’ve just started thinking, it was part of my psychotherapy. Amazing, it can change your thought process.

I’ve also been considering what my ideal weight would be and I think 13 stone might be okay. Yes it’s over my BMI, it would be a BMI of approximately 29. But I’ve never been small or slender. I’ve had a weight issue since I was about 12. I guess I’ll just have to see and I keep going. You know what I’m so focused. I feel so motivated. Not in a smug way, just a way I want to get on.

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