The title of my blog says it all in so many ways. Yes I’m disappointed I binged today but I don’t feel any shame about it. I don’t feel disgusted in myself. I just feel it was going to happen.
To set the scene: I’d had some yummy crustless quiche for tea about 5pm. I was working at a different base today. A base where they stock biscuits in the staff room. First strike: poor judgement Tink! Had about 10 biscuits over next hour and half.
After work I had to go to the shops to buy fruit. I was craving watermelon again. It’s just so refreshing and it was a darn hot day. Strike two: distracted in the shop, hungry. Done got two 150g bags of chocolate and a couple of light chilled lattes.
Reflecting that period had all the negative qualities a binge has. Eating so fast, not chewing just consuming.
Reading this back, they will be people who comment saying feel the shame. You did a shameful thing, but I disagree. I did what all people who have an issue with binge eating do. I binged. But I do feel I’m moving towards recovery. I don’t binge each day or even each week. I’m on a journey. I’d love to reach the point where food isn’t an issue but sadly it probably will be an issue for life.
Food isn’t something you can go without is it?! Alcohol, gambling and like not essential to life. I do appreciate that an addiction is an addiction but what I’m trying to convey is a human can’t exist without food whereas it can exist without gambling.
Life is life with all its challenges for all of us. What ever your struggling with today, I hope that you can find solice and peace with yourself.